I awoke to the sound of jack-hammers pounding away at the cement below my apartment building. The sound made me quickly pull the covers over my head and barricade myself with pillows. I could never get enough sleep due to the fact that there was always construction going on outside. I guess that was the price I paid for choosing one of the poorest neighbourhoods in the city. Money was scarce as is due to the economy and I planned to save every single penny I’d ever earned. I was a small person so food was never an issue. I grew up on the streets with my older brother, well; he used to be my older brother. Now, he resides in a cheap wooden casket 10 feet in the ground. We never knew of our parent’s whereabouts, but we didn’t care. I didn’t want anything to do with any heartless person who would throw their children on the streets, to fend for themselves. So here I am 17 years later, all alone. I had lost all family I’d ever had. Some days I feel as if I’ve lost all humanity left in me.
If it weren’t for that careless drunk trucker, my brother would still be here with me right now. At age 14 I had no education, no proper clothes, nothing even close to a normal childhood. But I had him, and even that was taken away from me. We would’ve sued, but I couldn’t risk it. We weren’t of legal age and my brother did not want to land me in a foster home. His last words to me were: “I want you to know, that even though I won’t be here anymore, you’ll never be alone.” I could never figure out the message behind his words, but I know they meant something deep. No matter how many times I remind myself that, I can’t help but think I am alone, because he left me, left me to fend for myself. I had no real job, but the food bank supported me enough and when I was 18, I could get one in our modern day life.
I dragged my sorry butt out of bed and to the pantry to eat a measly piece of bread with a sip of orange juice. There was nothing the world could offer me. Then the idea hit me, I could be with my brother. My eyes widened and my lips stretched into a mischievous smile. I quickly throw on some clothes other than my P.J’s and raced outside. I hadn’t done my hair or brushed my teeth, granting me horrified looks from people outside. There, my eyes landed on the massive bridge towering at least 100 feet off the ground. I had never learned how to swim; there was no one to teach me, and no equipment for which to learn. I carefully perched myself on the thin railing. I turned to look down at the people from below, some pointing, and some shouting for me to get down. I know my brother wouldn’t have liked for me to go this way, shame me for what I am doing. When life gets tough the tough get going, he would always say.
In a matter of minutes, camera crews, police men, firemen, and helicopters had been assembled. Some surly man was yelling at me through a blow horn, telling me to “get down from there immediately”. There was a part of me that wanted to get back down, and return to… Return to what? There was nothing left for me to return to. And I guess that out of pure, sweet insanity, I jumped.
